Tuesday, July 12, 2005

The last of this, the first of that

Yesterday we played frisbee for the last time before we leave for our trip (in 6.5 hours!), sharing food with friends afterwards at an outdoor night market, packed our suitcases which we finished this morning. I'm aware of the fact that many of the daily things i do will be the last time i do them as an unmarried woman. The last time i'll have my hair cut, the last time i'll cut my nails, the last time I go swimming, the last time I make breakfast, the last time i buy milk, the last time I take a bus...

As there are many lasts, there are also quite a few firsts that i'm very much looking forward to. The first meal, the first plane ride, the first swim, the first kiss...

China's parting gift to me as i leave her borders for the last time as a single woman was having my wallet stolen in broad daylight yesterday while walking from a food stall to the bus stop. It was the first time i've ever been pickpocketed but hopefully it'll also be the last.

Bon Voyage a nous!

Sunday, July 10, 2005


I can't sit still. It's hot, I'm sticky all over, I'm antsy to get on that plane. I can't even think straight to write a proper entry i'm so excited. My mind's a mish-mash of hyper-elevated thoughts.

Knowing that something is so wonderful in front of us, it's like being a kid and your mum says you can visit the toyshop tomorrow, but in some ways you'd rather be told tomorrow because the waiting wouldn't be as difficult. It's 1:49 pm now but it was only 1:37 last time I looked.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

A part of us now

"Today we got our rings made, yayyyyy!! They are very cool!!!!" exclaimed Matt.

They are simple gold bands with the word "LOVE" in Uyghur writing inscribed on it, date on the inside.

It is making us so giddy and we've ben talking about what it means to have something be a part of you for life. What a feeling.

4 days until we leave for our trip. 21 days until we are legally married.

Even though we knew from the beginning, and that's no exaggeration, that we would be together for life, feelings of absolute joy and utmost happiness washes over me as we declare to the world our eternal union.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

why is a grapefruit called a grapefruit?

For those endearing people who want to do their best at making our whirlwind stopover in Canada enjoyable, i declare there should be GRAPEFRUIT JUICE at every dinner table. It was once available in the supermarket just downstairs from our flat, but for some reason or other, it's no longer stocked. A real shame. And right now, right this moment, i'm really really missing grapefruit juice.

Monday, July 04, 2005


Have been in Urumqi for 3/4 of a year now, and i'm about to be launched into my 'old world', full of 'old friends' 'learned experiences' and 'past memories'. Since my arrival here, i've created a 'new world' for myself, full of 'new friends' 'new experiences' and 'new memories'. These two worlds will soon converge, and i must make a conscious effort to remain aware and sensitive of both sides, both needs, both wants and both misleading traps, all the while keeping my own well-being on the front line without compromising my morals.

When has growing up become so intricate? Where relationships, gainful experiences, pleasant memories, best friends, random strangers, haunting pasts and yet-to-be-revealed predicaments are all weaved into a thick fabric and stuffed into the hollow cone of a human body? Sometimes i wish we could all come out with a new slate, just off the conveyer belt, unmarked and unused, still smelling of that new-fresh-product-smell, like the cars you buy firsthand before you drive it out of the lot only to have it depreciate dramatically in value the second your back bumper enters city-terrain. But we wouldn't be who we are today if we had to keep starting fresh every few years, i realize that. Still, is it such a crime to love someone so much with every fibre in your soul, to want something to yourself so much that you have to come to terms with things that had nothing to do with you before a certain quantified time? No, i don't believe so. But i also believe that love shouldn't be a selfish act of limitation, rather one of acknowledgement, appreciation, and perpetual awe. I'm learning, I'm growing, but most importantly, I'm becoming the ideal Me i had envisionned for so long.