New Year. New Beginnings.

Wow, can you believe it's 2019? Every New Year I marvel at another year gone by. Always, there are significant events in the year and lessons learned. But this year certainly takes the cake.

2019 is set up to be one of change, growth, challenges and (hopefully), accomplishments.

We escaped the snow and cruised the Caribbean Islands from New York City. It was the perfect holiday to get away, come together and create new memories.

Wishing everyone a healthy and happy New Year!

This. Is. Happening.

We bought a boat.

Not just a boat. THE BOAT.

The difference between our mindset now (in the PLANNING stage) and about a month ago (in the DREAMING stage), is that: This. Is. Happening.

Our cruising life is tangible. We have the boat. 

Cue crazy screams of excitement, glee and sheer terror. All against a backdrop of money being flushed down the toilet.

Yes, we are already hemorrhaging money. For winter storage, rudder repairs, sail restitching, transmission rebuild.

Gulp.

This. Is. Happening.

I still can't quite believe it at times. But then when I catch myself saying "when we go cruising..." and not "If we go cruising..." then I am reminded again that: This. Is. Happening.

The to-do lists gets longer and longer each day as we realize the multifaceted components of being able to cast off.

Listing the house to rent, but first needing to purge, pack and store an entire household of things.
Ensuring our health documents and vaccinations are up to date, stocking up on essential meds, etc.
Homeschool - 'nuff said!
Boat stuff - a growing number of items need attending to before we actually set sail. And then there's the growing number of items that will need attention once under way at some point (ie. new rigging!) and then the anticipated number of items that will need addressing (not to mention likely lots of $$) when we are under way. So hard to know how much to budget for in terms of $$ and time when these will crop up anytime. Trying to maintain a 'go with the flow' mentality. Trying, but it's not easy when I am a planner.

Well, the momentum is building.

This. Is. Happening.

One small step, but a major one

Sunset on Crotch Lake (September 2018)

After years of dreaming, reading books, magazine and other people's blogs, watching documentaries and YouTube shows, doing my CanSail 1, chartering in the 1000 Islands and Vancouver Island, voyaging on the Grayhound to the Isles of Scilly.... we have taken the plunge.

Tonight we made an offer on the Endeavor 42 in Halifax. Fingers crossed. It's anyone's guess now.

After going to the Annapolis boat show in April, things have taken on a whole new momentum. Mom passing away was the catalyst that has brought on the 'someday' to 'today'.

I miss you every day, Mom.

Matt and I have talked about this dream for so long, I can't even remember when we first brought up this idea to go cruising as a family. Over the last year or so, we have been slowly telling friends and family. In very vague terms like "oh one day", or "in 5 years" or "when we save enough money".

Truthfully, there is never a best time to go. You just have to pick a date and work towards it. I read that advice somewhere on some blog, but it is true. That day circled in the calendar will certainly provide the impetus and drive. It has in our case.

I can hardly sleep at night I am so excited and am constantly adding things to our ever-growing list of 'things to do'. I love having something to look forward to, a project, a goal, an adventure that keeps us going.

The ball is in their court now. Will the owners reject our offer? Counter-offer? Or ????

Time to get some sleep now, or at least lay in bed trying.

Off to Cuba!

Off to Cuba in 6 hours! A big family holiday with all the Grandparents and Gail :) Just need Tai to get better and recover from his stomach bag. Still, the sun and surf will hopefully help speed the recovery.

Another year!

It will be June tomorrow. 2015. We have been in Ottawa for over a year now. We have settled into our new routines and we have made some connections here. We have all grown over the year. We have all learned. And we have come closer together again.

I'm beginning to think this is it, our little family unit. We are constantly learning about each other and about ourselves. Together we are stronger. And we can achieve more.

The question still remains: are we going to go off again and challenge ourselves once more and discover new places and people? Someday yes. But soon? How soon?!

Happy New 2015

 Happy New Year, 2015! A year of consolidation. Last year was a year of change and movement and direction. This year will be one of grounding, building, growing. Happy to be here. Anticipating the new and unknown. Best to all.

Anyone want a toddler?

Aila is now without a doubt a toddler. She tantrums like a wicked storm and then jumps around like everyone is her best friend, me especially.

Last night she wouldn't get out of the bath despite lots of threats and bribes. She ended up losing her story privilege that night. She wept herself to sleep. But when I went in to put a blanket on her (she refuses to use a blanket when she sleeps) her eyes just suddenly opened wide and she moans "Just one story book!!"

Good thing Matt had a few stories memorized and he went in and settled her with one. And then I go in later in the night to try and put a jumper on her, and at first she agrees, but then she realizes what I'm trying to do and she grizzles "I will wear this shirt when I go fishing.".. Umm, excuse me? Where DOES she get this? And she's ONLY TWO!!!

First day of Junior Kindergarten

And just like that, he's off!

In the end, we had to wake the kids up at 6:45 this morning. A bit of a rush to get out but nothing too stressful.

Oh, except when Aila wanted to put a muffin into Tai's lunch box but he didn't want it and she threw herself to the floor in rage and tears. Besides that one little hiccup we were doing well.

We got to the school playground in good time to have a look around and play. We spotted his 'giraffe' bus which he'll take back home later this afternoon.

We saw his teachers (Mrs. Heslop and ECE's Lindsay and Amy) and a couple of other kids we have met before from a community soccer practice and a playdate.

Then the bell rang (actually it's more like a bell chime, thank goodness not one of those shrill bells!) and everyone has to go and line up with their classmates in front of their teacher and stand straight for O Canada.

Then with backpacks on, they march in single file into the school. Last hugs and kisses. No tears. No looking back.

To keep occupied, Aila and I spent the morning swimming. She's amazing, jumping, blowing bubbles, underwater and floating... this kid is all fish.

Lunch and nap now. Then it will be time to pick Tai up from the bus stop, just a block away.

Looking forward to seeing his little face when he hops off the school bus at 3:10 later!

The night before JK

The last full day before Tai's Junior Kindergarten journey. We had a very relaxing day. No tantrums, no real fuss. Lots of playing and laughing. The kids played in the basement on their own for a long time in the morning.

Then we went out and bought Tai some new indoor shoes for school. The kids must always take off their outdoor shoes when they come in and change into their indoor ones. The ones he chose light up and he is absolutely over the moon.

Several times today he would jump up and down and up and down and shout " I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really love my shoes!!" It just made me burst with happiness.

The previous doubts I had on spending so much money on a pair of running shoes quickly evaporated. $75 can certainly buy a 4 year old happiness!! :) Especially if they come in the form of red light-up shoes.

And then just after his bath tonight, he was all hyper and excited and he hopped into the room declaring "I am so so so so so so so so so so so excited about school!"

YAY!!! Sweet music to any parent's ears!

This afternoon we got dressed in our school clothes and put our backpacks on and practiced walking to the bus stop, what we would do, say, etc.

I most certainly did hug him a little tighter and look adoringly at him a little longer these past few days. What a journey it's been so far. Now we have to let go a bit ...

And even though they were in bed before 7pm (we're trying to have them asleep by 6:30 in order to get a full 12 hours sleep each night), they were chatting well until past 8 o'clock. I could hear bits of conversation from downstairs but then suddenly Tai shouts "I'm going to schooo-ooool!!!" in a sing-song voice.

This was quickly followed by "No, Aila. I'M going to school. Not you!"

Poor girl. She already insists on wearing her Dora backpack each time we go out, and she knows how to put it on herself. This afternoon I gave her a pencil case that was lying around in storage. She wouldn't let go of it and kept saying proudly "This is MY special pencil case!" She even went to bed with it.

They really are going to miss each other. They have become quite good companions in the past few months, especially since moving to Ottawa.

Happy 1st Birthday Aila!

Dearest Aila,

You will be celebrating your first birthday tomorrow. I am in such a state of half-awe and half-sorrow.

I didn't feel this when Tai turned one. I cannot believe how far we've come, my little girl, from that day in hospital when you popped out to today, a bright-eyed, smiley, nosey, beautiful girl.

I know people say you should be careful to describe little girls as "beautiful" and "gorgeous", so they don't only ascribe themselves with outer appearances.

But to be absolutely honest, you are SO BEAUTIFUL. Your perfect little face with your deep searching dark eyes, and like Tai says "you have lovely cheeks" and "you have a cute little nose".

My Aila, we will be celebrating with you tomorrow. What a year and what an achievement!

We didn't know one year ago how we would manage as a family with a new addition. Now I can't imagine what our family would do without you. You weren't so much an 'addition', but the 'completion' to our mini
clan.

Day 12 and all is well

I am so content right now.

Aila is now 12 days old. I am feeling a lot like my former self, physically at least. I still need to get back into shape and still need to rest after a walk, but I'm a lot more mobile, able to pick up and cuddle Tai, wash my feet and get up from lying down.


I bathed Tai for the first time in a couple of weeks and he was so cooperative and so much fun. No fuss, even with the hair washing! I realized how much I missed that special time in the day. We sang and laughed and read lots of books. I love him to bits.

Mother's guilt is alive and well in me, but I'm usually so busy thinking about the next feed for one child or the other that I'm not actually letting it get to the surface.

But now sitting down and writing and listening to good music with a tiny bubba on my lap, it creeps up and around me.

Still, I know I'm doing my best and under the circumstances, I think I've gotten away with mild PND. Grateful for that as I was worried if it would be worse this time.

Aila is a real little beauty, I have to admit. She has delicate features, fingers, toes. She has her daddy's ears. Some of her expressions really remind me of Tai. She looks like Tai when she's asleep but there are obvious differences too. I can't wait to see how she will look in a couple of year's time.

I think Matt has had a good time on paternity leave this time. Tiring, but good. He's really done a lot more childcare with Tai, and I think they've bonded a lot. Same with Grandpa.

I am alive and I feel these last 12 days have been a steady marathon. Sleep is not strung together, but I do get a couple of hours here and there.

sunshiny days!

The sun is out and it is HOT HOT HOT! What a complete change in mental attitude!

Everyone is happy and content and smiling. This is how life should be. We celebrate the little things more when the sun is shining it seems.

My soul is brimming and my body is bursting (literally!) with happiness.

less than 7 weeks to go

The home stretch seems longer than last time. I'm ready. I'm actually feeling just an once of excitement to see how this labour will unfold.

I want to utilize all the skills that I've been learning and (sometimes) practicing. I want to meet our little girl and bring her into this family.

Tai is getting lovelier by the day. It is a delight to get to know him and shape him everyday. He grabs my cheeks and brings my face close to his and plants the most gentle kiss imaginable on my lips. His skin and lips are so incredibly soft and the act of him kissing me leaves me so full of love. Does he realize the effect he has on his mother?

A little sister for Tai!!!

View from the top of the head

Nice side profile

Baby was very cooperative today and we found out that there will be a little GIRL joining our family! We are ECSTATIC! Very very much so.

growth

Posing in his new Peruvian vest. Thank you Popo and Gongong!

Tai is learning new words at an astonishingly rapid pace. As fast as my belly is growing, it seems!

There are several new words every week and now we're onto two-syllable ones even!

I often think he knows more than I think he does. Sometimes he does things that surprises me and I'm left wondering "where did he learn that?!"

Cuddling his new teddy. Merci Estelle!

His sense of empathy is coming through stronger and stronger. He kisses and cuddles various toys and books - and us of course! 

He is very fair in his kisses too; if he kisses Mama first, he will directly go to Dada and kiss him as well. And vice versa. It's lovely.

As for Baba 2, I am growing bigger and bigger and except for the nasal congestion (which has now just become a part of my normal world), everything seems pretty fine. 

There were a few instances of spotting and bleeding which I got checked out by the midwife, but tomorrow's scan should tell us more - if anything. 

Besides the constant nasal congestion and the incredibly annoying insomnia, I am feeling fine. 

A gentle kiss for baba 2

I was told at the last midwife appointment, my glucose level was rather high and was a likely candidate for gestational diabetes. This is fairly common and can be usually controlled by diet. 

I'm trying to be good and conscious about cutting down on sugar. However, there are times where I do cave in and devour a chocolate brownie or lemon drizzle cake. 

What I am craving recently (and if I remember back to the first pregnancy, then also), is pasta and tomato sauce. Anything with tomato sauce really, lasagne, spaghetti, etc. Oh, and fries. Big chunky fries with salt and ketchup. 

I wish I could just pop down the street and get a big hot poutine. Now that would be great!