joy

I am getting to know Tai more each day.

I am able to read his body language, his cues and can anticipate what he may want next - possibly even before he realizes it himself.

We marvel at each other, lock eyes and both of us crack open the widest grin imaginable. I feel my heart literally jump up and down. Is it physically possible to have an internal organ detach itself like that for a split second? It certainly seems to be possible in my case.

With new discoveries everyday, I feel more vulnerable and protective over this little human being, who is showing me his many shades and colours and temperaments.

In all honesty, I have to say Tai is a pretty laid-back baby. He rarely cries, and when he does, it's for a good reason.

I have discovered that he absolutely hates loud noises. Today I let loose one of my massive sneezes and he just started to scream bloody murder. Up until then, he had been happily sitting in his bouncy chair for close to an hour, sucking his fists like there was no tomorrow.

I catch myself gazing at him, memorizing every single square millimetre of his beautiful face.

I can remember life before him, but what's different is now I cannot imagine life without him.

a new sense of time

Time is more precious than ever before. I now only get snatched minutes of time to accomplish something that normally I would do in mere seconds.

Depending on what is top of the priority list, those things could be taking a shower, making a phone call, washing a load of laundry, eating breakfast/lunch or more often than not, brunch, or simply closing my eyes for a 5 minute nap.

Life is full and often the days are made up of a similar routine.

It's amazing how quickly the time goes when all you do is ensure a little baby has enough sleep, food, and clean nappies.

Tai is beginning to be more alert during the days and he's started to smile and chuckle. It's awesome.

He'll hear you coming and start thrashing his legs and arms around wildly.

When you peer over his face, he'll break out into this humongous open-mouthed-gummy-grin.

You can't help but grin and laugh back. It's just one of those natural reflexes that you just do when a baby smiles at you.

This must be that giddy endorphin-charged feeling that so many parents talk about.

I think I get it now.

* pics from Aunty Claire, Great-Aunt Jan, Granny and Grandpa's visit.

My Son

I remember it took a while to get used to using the word 'husband' in my everyday vocabulary when I got married.

However, calling Tai my 'son' just seems to roll off the tongue, like I've been doing it my whole life.

first week - bewilderment

This first week has passed by in a complete blur.

Let's just say this parenting business involves a very very very steep learning curve from the moment you hear that first cry.

Throw in random sleep patterns, messy tar-like substance poos, leaky boobs and an unimaginable sore body, then you can kind of envision what this week's been like.

Matt's been great at being the Director in Communications, fielding emails, phone calls and Skype video chats all over the world.

It's incredible to think that when Matt was born just 36 years ago, news of his birth was announced to relatives via telegrams!

And now we have instant video conferences to any corner of the planet with a decent internet connection. That is pretty amazing.

We have been spending about 80% of the day in bed, alternating between fitfully sleeping and just staring at our beautiful new son.

The rest of the world seems to have been put on

semi- permanent hold....

a family of 3 now!

Tai has joined us in the world!

He was born on Wednesday, June 30, 2010 at 8:17pm. He weighed a healthy 7lbs 12oz.

So much to report but I'm running on 'baby time' and now I understand when new parents say they have no time for anything.

The important thing is we are happy and healthy.

This little business of being sleep-deprived will sort itself out, I'm sure ;)

an inducing kind of weekend

This weekend was FULL-ON!

Saturday morning we walked around Penzance and took in the Mazey Day festivities.

Once a year, Penzance puts on a real street party, full of parades, music, boats, food, funfair, etc.

It's all really lively and the weather was just perfect - hot!

We then met up with Claire and Anthony at the gorgeous beach of Lansallos, down a long, steep smuggler's path which then opened into the sea.

It was such a hot day that all of us went in for a refreshing dip before munching on snacks and sunbathing on the beach.

We then had a lovely pub dinner in Fowey before heading out to the Eden Project for the Jack Johnson concert!

The next morning we had traditional Canadian-style pancakes with maple syrup.

We then walked around town some more to see more of Mazey Day celebrations.

We capped it off with watching the World Cup match before crashing into bed.

It was an active weekend for sure... and I was going to pay for it later...

Whose body is this anyway?

Isn't it strange how every day seems to drag on sometimes... but when you look back at the week, that seems to have flown by.

I am participating in Tai's first lesson to his mother: Parental Patience. You cannot hurry things that cannot be hurried.

On the physical front, I'm noticing some ungainly stretch marks on the bottom of my belly.

Because I haven't been able to see what is happening south of my belly button for several months now, I've been in blissful denial and thought I was one of the (few) lucky women who've managed to go through pregnancy sans stretch marks.

And then one day I dared to look in the full-length mirror... and staring back at me was a dizzying array of reddish marks. 'War Wounds' is what many people call them. I prefer to call it my 'Badge of Honour'.

It's absolutely remarkable what little control you have over your body, especially at the later stages when your skin is stretched and pulled in all directions. I'm retaining quite a lot of water as well, noticeably in my legs/feet and arms/hands.

I've been avoiding the scale in the bathroom for several days now. Before it was fun to see how many pounds I would put on each week.

But there comes a point where it's not funny anymore... that point was after the 40+ lbs mark for me... yikes!

I had a sudden surge of confidence this morning though and stepped on. It was more curiosity that spurred it on I think, but i was pleasantly surprised and befuddled to find that I had lost 3 pounds in the past few days. How is that possible?

It seems so silly and petty to worry about such things, especially when it is an absolutely blessing and honour to be carrying a child. Still, I think many women do worry about such things, whether or not they share it.

All our lives we've been able to have pretty much full control over our bodies, and then for a short period in our lives when we are growing another person, it all seems to go out the window!

Yesterday I met up with several of the NCT (National Childbirth Trust) ladies that we did the course with. NCT is a charity for parents and parents-to-be. They offer advice, classes and online shopping too!

Anyways, we participated on a prenatal course and met some really nice, like-minded couples. We are all due around the same time (me and another girl are on the same day) so it will be nice to be going through the same stages of parenthood together.

Anyways, the 4 of us that got together at the Blue Bar in Porthtowan yesterday was quite a sight to behold! After our leisurely lunch on the patio, we strolled down towards the sea, acquiring quite a few comments (nice ones, mind you) and stares. It isn't everyday you see 4 heavily pregnant women waddling on the beach!

It's been glorious weather lately. Sunny but bearable with the sea breeze. I'm so consumed with this pregnancy and wondering when it will end... and summer is passing me right by!

* Pics on this entry are of us on the Men an Tol walk last weekend.

Preparations

Car seat and isofix-bar installed in the car - check.

No-sew dinosaur blanket made - check.

Who needs a sewing machine when you can knot your way to a soft fleece blankie?

It's the love that went into it that counts, that's what I tell myself at least!

Belly cast made - check.

Fun, messy and

memorable! A great fruit bowl, I reckon.

To my unborn son

I have always dreamt that one day I would be a mother, a nurturer, someone who would have the privilege to share the world with my children.

That day is approaching.

We are expecting your arrival any day now with excited anticipation and with a huge dose of impatience.

What will you look like? Will you have your father's sea-blue eyes and my thick dark hair? Will you have my stubby toes? Or his long, strong legs?

When we first found about you, I was ecstatic, overwhelmed and scared all at once. Was I ready to become a mum? Well, ready or not, I have enjoyed these past nine months more than I ever thought I could.

Every night without fail, I have dreamt about the imminent labour, your birth, your first cry, the first moments of holding you in my arms, the first time we bring you home, the uncertainty of what to do with a new-born baby mixed with the exhilaration of being honoured to be your care-giver.

I can hardly believe these dreams will soon materialize into reality.

These past 9 months have been full of adventure and change. We bought a house, moved countries and are now settled in a place where neither of us have ever been to. We have read up on pregnancy and childbirth as much as we could, attended ante-natal classes and discussed our dreams and thoughts for countless hours. We've even written up a will in the unlikely circumstance that life could take an unfortunate turn for the worst.

But are you ever truly ready to become parents?

We've acquired quite a collection of 'must haves' in terms of the hardware that comes with caring for you. The Moses basket came with three left legs which your Dad immediately sorted out with some creativity - and the stumps of my piano stool. Now it is perfect; all that's missing is a little person to fill it.

We've got a fabulous bright red pushchair and the most adorable little clothes with matching socks. We can't help but spoil you already.

I've met many other parents and parents-to-be (mainly mums) and I am overwhelmed by the strong social networks that are out there to help us in any and every possible situation. There is comfort in knowing that there is a vast amount of information out there when we are so far away from our families.

I realize these last few precious days will be something of a pleasant memory; the leisurely mornings, the peaceful strolls around town, the fact that I can do what I want, when I want. Pretty soon you will be here and our focus will shift dramatically. I embrace these changes to come, and although I can't say for sure how I will cope, I am definitely entering this new phase with open eyes and open arms.

You have taken very good care of me during the pregnancy. You taught me how to take care of myself by ensuring I keep fit and eat well. You showed me how to embrace my leisure time and to indulge in my passions and hobbies.

You have brought your father and me even closer, when I didn't think that was possible. You have made us so proud already by growing big and healthy with each passing week.

We couldn't be happier.

Already you have brought so much joy to everyone in our lives, near and far. I can't believe the power you have over us, the way you have been able to knit our families closer together. Just simply by being you and existing.

There is so much I want to show and share with you. I can hardly wait, sometimes I think I'm going to burst. Of course I'm under no illusion that life comes with its ups and downs and although I don't know how it will all work out, this much I know: you are very much loved.

a brush with royalty

Friends Naoko and her honey-bunny, Satoshi, came to visit us yesterday.

He's doing a 6 month research study on the Middle East in Cambridge and

Naoko came to visit for several days.

Being the train buff that he is, they have criss-crossed the country by rail and made sure they included Cornwall in their itinerary.

The last (and first) time I met Naoko was at our Ka

zakh wedding in Xinjiang 5 years ago. It was nice to see her again and get to know her better.

Their visit coincided with the Royal Cornwall Show, the biggest fair in Cornwall of the year, where thousands of people flock to the grounds to see the animals, taste the local produce, shop at the local stalls, etc.

Plug Into the Sun had a booth in the Green Energy tent.

And look who we got to see up close and personal! Charles and Camilla! Ooohh!

ready

I'm 36+ weeks now and am so ready for Baby to come out.

It's been hard going these past few days. Tiredness (but unable to sleep well), leg cramps, swollen limbs and just overall feeling very 'heavy'.

I can't imagine what it'll feel like sans bump.

A part of me can't wait to share the baby with the world. And the other part of me wonders if I'll cope with having to share the baby with the world.

36 weeks of belly

No need to say anything here.

Pictures can speak for themselves this time.

local Cornish weekend

Yesterday we took advantage of the sunny weather and went down to the Lost Gardens of Heligan to walk around.

A hidden garden that was discovered and beautifully restored to its natural wonders, it is a peaceful place to spend the afternoon and take in the wildlife, plants and natural fauna.

Today, after some baby shopping at Mothercare in Truro (we finally bought a car seat and found a solution to our mattress problem for our Moses basket), and a maternity ward tour of the Treliske Hospital, we heard on the radio that the Cornish Pirates were playing Munster in the Britis-Irish Cup final.

So we went to the Camborne Rugby Field to try and get some tickets. Although there were only standing tickets left, it was a fantastic game - and the rain held off!

That evening, after a nice hot bath to soothe my achy legs, we settled down for a hot meal.

The week-end ended on a high with a surprise email from the Eden Project saying that 4 Jack Johnson concert tickets for June 26th had suddenly become available and that we were next on the waiting list!!!

What luck! Now we just have to convince baby not to pop too early!

buggy fever

We received our buggy/ stroller two days ago!!! It's so exciting, I was walking back from my tutoring lesson and saw the big delivery truck at the gate. I could see he was about to leave so I ran fullspeed up the hill to try and stop him.

I don't think i've ran for several months now but it was probably a ridiculous sight. It was really more

like a fast-paced waddle. Oh well, at least i caught the guy in time. He even brought the big box into the house for me, sweet.

Matt's pumped up the tires and we're set to try it out asap, although it may look a bit strange pushing an empty buggy around... still, very exciting!

I've just ordered the bar that fits onto the frame so that the car seat (which we'll probably purchase this weekend) can sit directly onto the buggy. It's called a 3 in 1 Travel System and this particular one has 4 seat positions including a lie-flat option for newborns, plus it has a double seat option for when/if you have a toddler and baby to push around... no, we're not planning a second baby just now, but Matt thinks you can never be too prepared! :S

We've got our hospital tour this Sunday so that will be interesting to see exactly what it's like. I've heard mixed reviews from other mums in my Bumps and Babes group, and although some have said the facilities were 'basic', everyone has raved about the midwives and the care you get.

I only wish they offered a water birth option since I think I would love to try that but apparently you can't even bring in your own birthing pool to the hospital.

We've also got a couple of NHS classes coming up the next few Tuesdays. These are free and available to everyone. The first one focuses on the Signs and Stages of Labour, the second on Pain Relief, Partner's Role and Complicated Birth, and the third on Breastfeeding.

It's crazy how completely consuming this baby is already, and he's not even born! I saw the midwife on Tuesday and my blood results were all fine. Tai's head, which is the size of an apple she said, is perfectly positioned downwards and the fundal measurement is spot on at 33cm.

We heard the heartbeat again and that's always reassuring to know it's strong and fast. And as long as i feel a lot of movement and kicking consistently, we're told that's the best sign that he's doing alright.

It seems he doesn't stop moving at all and lately we can feel the rhythmic hiccups, which feels like smallish kicks. Apparently this is a great sign that he is practicing his breathing so that his lungs will be ready when he comes out.

I had some backache last week for a few days but it has since disappeared thankfully. I now swear by my swimming regime and am walking as much as possible. It's really been helping me keep fit I think.

So except for the occasional leg cramps and the insomnia at night, I feel perfectly fine...that is, if you don't count the extra 28 pounds (2 stone) i've had to get used to lugging around!

I've just been for an early morning swim with a girl i met at yoga. She's about 5 months along and in her happy energetic 2nd trimester. I think it will be really nice in a few month's time when there will be a group of us with small babies all trying to figure out this whole parenthood thing together.

We've decided not to do the cord blood/stem cell collection. After a lot of research and speaking to some health professionals and friends who are also expecting, it seems like the research is not entirely conclusive and even using one's own stem cells to cure a certain disease is not the best option since those cells will be diseased already.

32 weeks and feeling like an old lady

Life has taken on a slow and steady pace.

I'm amazed how tired and lethargic I feel. It's totally unlike me.

I get sudden random bursts of energy but then it's gone and I'm left feeling zapped.

Evening baths are becoming a ritual. It helps me relax and sleep better, very important as insomnia is also becoming a nightly occurrence.

As I lay in the tub and the baby kicks and squirms inside, it ripples out into the bubbles and I giggle with glee.

If he can already bring this much joy into our every day lives, imagine what it'll be like when we finally meet him!

lower back pain (in the a**)!

So this is what pregnancy back pain feels like.

Quite similar to a hot iron dagger being continuously plunged into your spine i'd imagine.

No thank you, you can go away now.

a familiar feeling of being settled

The months have flown by and my increasing size is just a constant reminder of how change is about to come, and fast!

I'm in Week Thirty and feeling the toll of carrying around an extra 25 lbs.

Walking long distances (or heaven forbid - UPHILL!) is a struggle and I have to stop and catch my breath every few steps. I feel like I'm living in the Himalayas.

I have the occasional heartburn which seems to radiate from the middle of my ribs and just recently, I get pangs of lower back pain which feels like a sudden and vicious screw being driven between two vertebrae with a jack-hammer.

On the upside, my appetite is still voracious and I am in constant awe of the movement that is now part of my waking (and non-waking) life.

I'm already missing my bump and the indescribable feeling of having life growing and kicking and wriggling inside. How does one's body know what to do? It is simply a miracle.

Matt has become very involved in the pregnancy and reading everything he can get his hands on.

At the airport the other week, we picked up the novel "The Road" by Cormac Mc Carthy, a post-apocalyptic tale of a journey taken by a father and his young son over a period of several months, across a landscape blasted by an unnamed cataclysm that destroyed all civilization.

It is a beautifully written piece of literature, where the simplest of words can conjure up such intense emotions.

I am very happy that we made the right decision to move to the UK early on in my first trimester instead of waiting until the end of the work/school term in Canada (mid/late June).

Although my memories of moving in December/ January are clouded with memories of complete exhaustion and nausea, I know it would've been much worse in the third trimester, especially in the heat of summer.

It's been 3 months since we've arrived (already!) and so far we've enjoyed living in this gorgeous part of the UK more than we thought we would.

Sunsets at Land's End in Sennen Cove, walks on the north coast at Crackington Haven, exploring the beaches of Perranporth and Porthtowan.

I've finally put away my big winter jacket for the year. Just in time too; for the past few weeks, I haven't been able to zip it up.

Needless to say, we definitely have Baby on the Brain and are both very excited about meeting our little man.

What will he look like? And will his limbs be in proportion to his head? Will we worry too much? Will we ever get a good night's sleep?

29 weeks and still ballooning

Can I really get any bigger?

Yes, it seems that I can.

Feeling this little person wriggling and kicking inside is just miraculous.

I have not being able to see my toes for weeks now - and dear Matt has been so good by trimming my toenails since bending down is now a thing of the past.

I realize this time in my life is a special privilege and so I am embracing it all, the good, the bad and the achy bits (which thankfully, there are very few of).

The 'glow' that is associated with pregnancy is lit within me.

Cornwall at its best

Matt has gone to Nanaimo for a 48 hour period to collect his Permanent Resident card from Immigration... a long way to go but at this point it would be silly not to obtain it.

As long as he is living with me, a Canadian, his PR status will stay in effect.

This is great news, especially after all the time, money and resources that we've spent putting the application together.

Although I was supposed to go back as well as his 'sponsor', the case officer was extremely sympathetic and didn't make that mandatory due to my 'condition'. I was only sorry I didn't get a chance to catch up with people back in Nanaimo.

So besides driving Matt to Bristol airport in the middle of the night, a 4+ hour drive from Penzance, I have been relishing the time to myself after a couple of hectic weeks.

Today, I met up with Sue, Guy, Claire and Anthony in Crackington Haven, about an hour and a half north-east of Penzance.

It is fantastic how close we are to them now (C&A) and able to see each other more regularly.

The north coast of Cornwall is truly stunning and we had a picture-perfect day.

We started with sitting outside in the sun, munching on fresh crab sandwiches, followed by a stunning walk on the cliff path and then down through the valley. We finished off with a double scoop of Cornish ice-cream as a well-deserved reward.